First of all, those who don’t know what is Tinder let me clear you and how it works. Tinder is a popular online dating app where people swipe right if they like somebody’s profile and if it’s a match (Means you and other person swiped each other) they go out to take it forward. This was and still is in other countries, the original idea of installing Tinder.
However, let me tell you that Tinder, based on this idea, does not work in India at all. The dating scenario in India is pretty screwed up. And for this we can totally give credit to the deep rooted typical “Indian” culture and narrow mindedness we are brought up in.
I myself have tried Tinder and let’s just say that my experience hasn’t been that good even if u look at the point of time and efforts this is the most time killing app u will see on your phone.
Frankly I got tired of all the guys cribbing in India about how it is unfair to Indian guys, the gender ratio is skewed, girls only like white guys, bla bla when I tried it myself I didn’t get a lot of matches at first so I tried what’s the best possible extent that I could get the matches so found a script that would do swiping for me. About me I was using normal Tinder haven’t spent a single penny on tinder subscriptions for the gold or any boosts or super like.
I am a 24-year-old guy from Jabalpur Currently in Greater Noida. I would call myself below average looking but overall, I am quite happy with how I look. I am not rich I come from a middle-class family like any else. I use normal tinder not plus or gold. I don’t hit the gym. I wouldn’t call myself a player or PUA or anything of that sort. I have always been fascinated by human psyche and read a lot of books on the same. I don’t believe Tinder is really great for starting relationships its rightfully a hook-up app in western countries but it is a little different in India so who knows you might actually get lucky and find a soul mate if you believe enough. I use tinder as testing grounds only to see what works and what doesn’t in building attraction in real life. I don’t do much swiping on tinder you can see who liked you by a simple trick I will also tell that but that doesn’t mean swiping is bad; too much swiping is. Like I did to find the maximum extent how many swipes are allowed on free tinder account found out that you can swipe around 100 in 12hrs cooldown time once u swiped out 100 girls then cooldown time will start or it will say like u need to buy tinder gold to swipe more.to further research purpose I made a simple bot that stores the number of swipes and which swipe was done and it further adds up the counter.
Getting started on Tinder:
If you didn’t know Tinder associates an Elo rating with every person the same concept like MMR in DOTA or CS-GO. Basically, you are literally a number or a score. Tinder’s CEO did pretty much admit it and said they just want every person to find the right match.
So, this is how Elo system unofficially works:
Tinder has some criterion to rate your picture I guess it would be lighting, visibility of your features etc. So, you can get your Elo rating up by changing your pictures. Whenever a person with a higher Elo rating likes you your rating goes up (not sure if theirs goes down) but tinder tends to throw people who right swipe on everybody right to the bottom of the stack. Swiping left on everybody also seems to do the same (30-70% is a good place to be).There are some other things like super likes, actually sending messages to your matches that help too but not always.
SO, WHAT SHOULD I DO?
The answer is very easy. Reset your rating. Delete your tinder account. Go to Facebook and remove tinder in apps. Reinstall tinder and sign up again. There you go. You can actually spam this to get yourself free boosts but honestly its very tiring and you will end up seeing the same profiles again.
Setting up your profile
Photos: I would suggest using all 6 photos.
GET GOOD PICTURES CLICKED. If you can’t do it by yourself get them done professionally. Smile in your photos don’t give that attitude look-you can’t carry it. There is an underlook (google it) I wouldn’t suggest it if you can’t pull it off. A good smile is enough showing happiness open body language and positive vibes.
Go to someplace. Get good photos clicked at any hill station or beach or anything. (The goal is to convey you are a wanderlust not mention it in your effing profile).
Have a good fashion sense. Purchase good fitting clothes preferably slim fits. Subscribe to Male Fashion Advice Channel. I am astonished by the bad dressing sense of most males in the country. (No!! trousers with shirt is not sexy). If you must 1 photo in a suit is enough. Tip for skinny guys because I am one too Full sleeve T Shirts look really good half sleeves don’t suit us because our arms look weird popping through them.
NO SELFIES I can’t stress this enough NO SELFIES. It shows you basically have no friends or anyone to take your photo. I was once the guy who would not get his pictures clicked because “I didn’t care” well start caring get your sister/Friend to click your photos like you have to click him/hers.
If you got a great body or abs DONT take topless pictures in the mirror. You got abs good for you and you should use them so take a picture playing beach volleyball or rafting or any situation where you can pull that off. Girls do like abs but they don’t want to be the girl who liked you because you have abs even though once you’re their boyfriend they will flaunt them.
If you’ve got a good candid picture showcasing your talent like playing guitar or something that’s always good.
TIP: Keep smart photos off (by default it is on)
Okay this is important. The goal as mentioned before is to convey you are an adventurous fun-loving interesting person and NOT write it.
Mentioning your qualities is way of qualifying yourself to a person you DO NOT want that whereas conveying your qualities is a DEMONSTRATION OF HIGHER VALUE.
Okay taking a look at this bio example
Switzerland’s flag (honestly chicks dig it, it is a direct yet subtle way of communicating I went to or am from or study in Switzerland. Technically, I didn’t lie I just created interested. I visited Switzerland this summer.)
Avid and Eccentric (Avid is generally used with something you are passionate with like Avid reader but who cares. The goal here is to convey I can properly talk in English and my vocabulary is good. This crosses off the Do NoT TyP LyK DiS shit)
Looking for a girl to make my life hell (I am looking for a relationship and playfully teasing and appealing because girls believe it’s their right to be trouble and drama)
I like writing books and eating breakfast foods at inappropriate times (I actually do like writing books and my English is really good too the second part subtly tells them I am a foodie not particularly true but I do enjoy good meals who does not) Side note: sometimes they ask what’s your favourite breakfast food. Always say pancakes (it’s always theirs honestly, I hate pancakes too sweet!)
That’s it keeps it short and simple. For god’s sake DO NOT COPY THIS (You are going to anyways because you lack creativity anyway moving on) because the guy population is really large if this becomes recurring it will harm you. I am just going to change mine.
Almost forgot yeah don’t give much away in your bio you want to surprise them later.
This is the actual fun part of tinder but also the most difficult. If you enjoy swiping wait till you get matches. I mostly try anything on my matches using pickup lines, different conversation starters or test things that build attraction. There are entire books written about attracting and talking to women but I would just give some basic things. However, I would suggest checking out books like ‘The Game’ by Neil Strauss, Mystery Method, Double your dating etc. Getting to the point. Whenever you match someone DO NOT INITIATE INSTANTLY I wait as long as I please 5 to even 12-13 hours. At least 5 I do intentionally the rest depends on my mood anyway this accomplishes quite a few things:
You are not desperate. If you initiate the moment you match means you tinder all day and basically have no life or no other person to talk to.
If she does like you and that is the reason you matched (she was actually interested because many times they just don’t care) she will be waiting for you to talk to her and waiting is intriguing when she does want to know about you.
You have a life besides tinder and more important things to do.
Also DO NOT REPLY INSTANTLY IF SHE ISN’T doing the same a good rule of thumb is mirroring response times but just test waters if you both can catch each other online then start chatting.
I remembered more A LOT MORE you need to keep in mind. Okay you gotta believe in the Law of abundance don’t get stuck on a single match. Honestly, I feel guys tend to do this because they aren’t getting enough matches. DON’T WORRY you will.
Do not try to impress the girl by listing your qualities or giving straight up compliments. Listing your qualities makes you qualify yourself to her. Did you feel good about yourself when you called yourself intelligent? No, right. Demonstrate Higher Value not say it.
And actually, you should do the opposite. Make the girl qualify herself to you. Even an insult is better than a generic compliment (don’t try to pull that off yet). Just go with something like. “Beauty is being born into a good gene pool you got lucky but what makes you YOU?” OR “Beauty is a common thing list three qualities you got besides looking pretty” ( Ohh, yeah I’ll explain this 2nd one later it is much more interesting than you think ) Ok so like the nerd you are and you feel good when clear a challenge in a video game. Girls also like challenges the moment they have you they have lost interest.
Giving compliments. As I said its common thinking girls like compliments. Yes, they do but they get enough of it she will say thanks and move you to the pile of guys who already said so. WHENEVER YOU GIVE VALUE YOU ALSO GOT TO TAKE SOME AWAY.
Examples: “Beauty is a common thing list three qualities you got besides looking pretty” Here, you conveyed she is beautiful but for you beautiful girls are a common thing and she must tell you what makes her different. I use this and girls who usually reply with a few words will suddenly reply with a whole para listing their qualities which is an IOI (Indicator of Interest)
(A girl wearing black in most of her photos. Trust me you will find many) “Sue me even though you look good but all black is too bland. You could do better.”
Okay for conversation you want open ended stuff and something you both can express your opinion on so that you can DISAGREE ( don’t agree ffs) but she shouldn’t be offended.
Don’t be afraid to disagree you are entitled to your opinion.
NEVER SAY I LIKE YOU. I can’t stress this enough. I know it’s a guy instinct and people believe it’s a showcase of confidence. You MUST NOT say it. All these rom-coms and Bollywood movies are bs. The way I express I like someone I will say “I like you. You seem like the right amount of good and bad” (Girls think being demanding is their birth right well let em believe it) You need to build enough attraction before saying this though.
Moving on to the actual conversation. I think I gave you enough pointers. I’ll give you some sets now. (These are basically my conversations). I’ll be A and the other is Girl
1) Opening Set
If you can’t make out something interesting to say through her bio and photos go with (btw I got this from Jimmy Zhang’s YouTube video. His videos are funny but don’t follow them seriously)
A: [Insert football emoji here] …My bad my ball rolled in here
A: While I’m here [Insert hand wave emoji here]
G1: Ha-ha you plan on loitering here for a bit then
A: Well only coz you won’t let me go
A: You can pass it back on our date.
G2: Ha-ha should I kick it back?
A: Well you can pass it back on our date.
A: You seem like a fun girl. Tell me what’s the most adventurous thing you’ve done?
Breaking it down….
So, this is something books preach as talking over your shoulder and not a direct approach. You only said “Hi” (not like all other 999 guys who message hey) only because your ball rolled in there not to say hi to her yet to do it.
I believe girls only reply to this one if they’re generally already interested in knowing you. (If you say “hey” after matching if they are interested, they still won’t reply”) I would say this has like an 90% chance of getting a reply if your profile is good.
Next, her bla bla reply you say “pass it back on our date” Yeah, the football also makes you look like a fun guy who likes sports. You are casually suggesting a date while being cocky funny (a David DeAngelo concept). It is good.
2) Cold reading
This takes a little practice but honestly makes for a great opener even if you’re wrong.
A: Let me guess you seem like a shy person but I got a feeling you’re a great dancer. When the music comes on tell me which is it?
(Okay before I move on. When I started writing this guide, I did not believe in tinder but then I met this wonderful girl who isn’t like any other. She is really sweet and proper girlfriend material. I opened myself up to her so fast. I couldn’t think of a single thing to say so I’ve said this only to her and I was genuinely interested. If she reads this, I hope she forgives me.)
Yeah, no need to laugh. Okay so this isn’t from actual conversation now. But the reply would be something like:
Btw you can’t be wrong you basically took both the stance i.e. she is shy and not a dancer or she is a v good dancer and you knew it.
G: You got me I am great dancer (Of course you are)
G: I don’t really dance
To which you can go
B (because this aint me :)): Secretly everyone is a good dancer. I think you’re just shy I’m sure when you are alone you move along to the music.
(Tell her a good story)
3) Opinion Openers or even in between:
A: Can I get your opinion on something? (Even better is “I need your opinion on something” you don’t seek her validation in this case but I wouldn’t exactly use it at the beginning)
A: Guys getting their eyebrows done….
G: (Its fashion she is gonna give a big reply or not. Anyway, for or against just say)
A: I just got my eyebrows and it felt great ( I actually did get em done and it also felt great. You should too Unibrows are bad period)
4) Date Closing and/or Asking her number
You have to be suggestive of things than asking her out
So, for example when you have conveyed (not explicitly expressed) you like her you say something like “We should exchange numbers” That simple.
Rather than saying “Let’s go on a date” (The 1st time you said it playfully you didn’t mean it I’m talking about the football opener) say “We should meet” OR “We can just go on a walk together and grab ice-cream afterwards”(If she doesn’t have time for a proper date but wants to meet you. Okay here it is important to infer correctly sometimes she is politely turning you down)
On a date though for instance you go for a movie take her for a walk in the park and then grab an ice-cream anyway. This way you have 3 memories together now instead of one.
Also, extremely important you want to build physical attraction hold her hands. or politely keeping your hand on her waist and directing her somewhere. If you can’t build physical attraction or kiss her prepared to be friend zoned.
5) Becoming the victim: Okay this is a manipulative thing and not a good thing to do. I am not a manipulative guy!! I just have a good understanding of social dynamics that now it comes naturally to me. So here this goes, okay so if you suggest a date and then say” I’ve never met anyone through tinder and I’m scared” she will either say me too and you become somewhat harmless OR now she has to take the role of being the comforter suggesting No its okay to meet a stranger. Or In real life you kiss a girl with a boyfriend you say “This isn’t right” now she has to convince you it is. I personally don’t like PUTTING THIS OUT THERE just be considerate and not a creep.
6) If you do read the books like ‘The Game’ or ‘Mystery Method’ remember the routines in there were good like 10-15 years ago they do somehow work still but you can go from 100 to 0 really quick
So, I used this C smile vs U smile routine on a girl (google it) it went all good until she actually googled what a C smile is and that routine came up. Instant Unmatch of course.
TINDER TIPS AND TRICKS:
How to see who liked you…
Switch your distance to 2 km or 1 mile and then watch out for any girl who has a distance greater than that. (Only exception if she is actually less than a km away even if left swiped her well you didn’t like her anyway)
2) I see only bad girls and too much left swiping is bad for you
I simply close the app without liking or disliking to get a new top of stack.. You will see girls in your elo range but just like the good ones yours might increase.
3) Whenever you like someone its tinder’s responsibility to push you into their stack…so swiping is good but don’t swipe too much
i’m Writing this post after using Tinder for like 30-40 days few tips and tricks are sourced from forum mean while I found few more things that i would love to share like if u can see for the graph below
I have swiped like for real 18 -19 days overall that considering 100 free right swipes per day as I’m not using Tinder gold or plus. Out of which Right swipe was 1793 Means that’s the number I have liked or somehow these much I was desperate for sure. And for the match I got rejected or maybe out of that I don’t even appear in the profile of the my right swipes.Only 17 matches I got out of which 9 were bots who reply as per programmed asking for money in the end. 2 were like hooker they literally stalked me found my Whatsapp and texted me there for the offer. Out of 6 left those were like ghost they appears in the midnight for a while then goes offline for the day and believe me if u know Hanuman Chalisa they don’t even bother to text u 😂
That’s about it for this post. Good luck!!